The Grand Unified Theory of Loving Others

If I had to come up with the grand unified theory of loving others, I'd say it's empathy.

We're doing a four-part series at church on caring for aging parents, and the teacher's answer to the caregiving question ("How do I care for so and so?") is empathy, though he doesn't use that word. If a person is blind, blindfold yourself for a while to see what it's like; then you'll be better equipped to help that person. If a woman is hallucinating, don't dismiss her; ask her about what she's seeing and explore the hallucination with her. If a man is constantly angry, recognize that being constantly angry is a talent that can be channeled in a useful direction (e.g., a political cause). If a woman who's had a stroke has lost her speech and only moans now, be with her long enough to know how to discern between the meanings of her moans.

When you're with someone in need of care, be she old or depressed or crippled or whatever, the way to help is simply to be with her in that place at that time. The temptation is to turn away, to be dismissive, to convince the other to feel differently, but the way to help is to be in the pain with her. Nothing else.