Break It Down

If you’re stressed out, break it down.

When as a child I felt overwhelmed with school or relationships, my mom very patiently listened to me complain about it. Then she went with me through each item in my litany of miseries and asked, “OK, what can you do about that?” She helped me break it down. By the end of our conversation, I would have in mind what I was going to do, and a great peace would settle over me.

There’s what we can do, and there’s what we can’t do. We can’t control the things coming at us; they simply come. We can control how we will respond.

Sometimes stress comes not from the amount of work before us but from our inability to distinguish between the amount of work and the best way to respond to each task before us. We become overwhelmed with the enormity of it all, and so we dive in, thinking the only way to get things done is to get cracking. The problem is our stress stays with us, so we might get cracking, but soon we’re looking for an escape. We get on Facebook or check email or go eat something.

Escapes are not the same as breaks.

A better approach would be to take fifteen to thirty minutes up front to be deliberate. Make a list, but don’t stop there. Lists help us see the things we need to do, which is good because we’re less likely to forget something. But lists are not enough. In fact, if you stop with a list, you probably end up increasing your level of stress because now all of your work is staring at you in the face. Go the extra step of deciding what you will do to address each item and when you will do so.

Here’s my routine lately. As I’m driving home from work I call my voicemail and leave a message about the things I need to do the next day. When I come in the next morning, I listen to the message and make a list. Then I go to my calendar and schedule time for each item. It's my way of telling myself and others, “I will devote this time to this task and nothing else.”

Creating a list is not a plan. Scheduling time for things, forcing yourself to see how this item fits in with all the others—that is a plan. It’s also a more creative, peaceful way to live.