You Matter

I fear too much Christian teaching is an attempt to obliterate the self--a misinterpretation of “I must decrease so that he may increase” or “It is not I who live but Christ who lives in me.” These verses are not about reducing the self. The first is John the Baptist’s way of saying, “My mission is nearly complete. I must step aside now and let Jesus begin his.” The second is Paul’s way of saying, “I am increasingly becoming Christlike.”

My point is this. You matter. We all do. Deeply. And not just to our family and friends. To God.

To quote another verse, it is senseless to “treat others as you would like to be treated” unless you start from a position of caring about yourself. This is not selfish.

It is not selfish for you to take care of yourself. It is, in fact, the only way you can be of service to those around you.

What the Heavens Declare

Lately I’ve been watching films from a DVD titled Hope for Creation, featuring Dr. Matthew Sleeth. Each film is about a day of creation in Genesis.

The film “Heavens” really hit me—to the point of tears hit me. Sleeth talks about what the heavens say about God. He talks about how when we stare up at the night sky, it does not take long before we feel very, very small.

When my friend, Lisa, stood at the edge of the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, she felt small, and in this moment she went from disbelief to belief in something much bigger than herself. (There’s evangelism for you: start hosting people to overwhelming sights of nature.)

I still tease my buddy Mike about what he said when he and some friends and I went camping. At night Mike pointed his flashlight straight up and said, “Just think, guys: that light goes on forever and ever.” We thought this was a corny thing to say, but I wonder if we thought so because we lacked the capacity to take in the reality to which he directed us.

The night sky boggles my mind; it is downright unsettling. I simply cannot grasp its endlessness—stars and planets and galaxy upon galaxy. I mean, what is the point of all that space? I think some people’s yen for extraterrestrial life forms is fairly natural. It represents an attempt to make sense of the vast dark.

This immensity is disturbing and, if I let it be, also very reassuring. If God has something to do with the incalculable largeness of the universe, maybe, just maybe he has the power to help me out of whatever rut I’m in.

The sky may be intended, in fact, as a quiet but constant reminder.

What Drives You?

External or internal forces?

External forces include a paycheck, bills, praise from peers, the clock, others’ expectations, dogma, fear of repercussions, traffic signs, the scale.

Internal forces include a vision you have for yourself, belief, desire, the self, a sense of what you’re meant to contribute to the world, obligation to oneself, conviction, serenity.

Both can motivate, but internal forces lead to more authentic, more satisfying action. Sometimes external influences prompt internal motivations, and sometimes when we lack internal drives, external ones will have to do.

Oftentimes internal forces determine which external measures I set up for myself. For example, I have a certain vision for how I want to look, physically. The morning alarm clock, the scale, and my doctor are all external forces that help me attain this internally derived vision. If I lose the vision, I may still go to the gym, but doing so would be in some sense less authentic, more difficult, and less satisfying.

Maturity is the art of moving from external to internal motivations—from doing things because we have to, to doing things because we want to.

To Graduates

I know a guy with overbearing parents who is about to graduate from high school. The tendency I have observed among people in his situation is to go wild—to let loose and get crazy.

Some measure of this is probably healthy. One’s freshman year is about the only rite of passage most of us will experience. The Amish have their Rumspringa; the rest of us have college. But acting wild can too quickly take on a life of its own and turn on a person.

I want to hold this young man’s shoulders, look him in the eyes, and say, “Listen, yes, you’ve put up with a lot from your parents all these years. Who knows why? Obviously they were projecting some of their own psychological baggage on you, but hear me: be careful, okay? You are about to experience more independence than you ever imagined. Be careful with it. Party, yes, but don’t go too far. Don’t punish yourself and call it freedom. Be smart. And keep your eye on growing into the person you want to become.”